Confessions of a Chatroom Freak by Mr. Biffo

20 Jun

I must confess that I am a late comer to the idea of chatrooms. When I first stumbled onto the Internet, the idea of chatting to people I didn’t know held little to no appeal for me. I didn’t understand the thrill that some people got from chatting in Internet chatrooms.

What I didn’t know is that most people go into chatrooms to have cybersex or meet up for sex; thus the excitement. It seems I was chatting in all the wrong places. I wasn’t surprised at the huge amount of sex chatrooms. After all, the Internet itself has three uses: Porn, Information and Porn. Everything else is just fodder.

I never had the guts to go into sex chatrooms though so I have never really been able to experience what those kind of chats are like. Thankfully, Mr. Biffo has all the guts I don’t have and more and has written one of the funniest books of the decade: Confessions of a Chatroom Freak.

Posing as LoopyLisa21f, Biffo entered singles and sex chatrooms and talked to men about the most hilarious, hysterical things, least of all sex. How wonderful is that? And thankfully, Mr. Biffo has preserved all these chats for us! Confessions of a Chatroom Freak contains transcripts of genuine conversations between LoopyLisa21f and many, many men.

That may sound like a very simple premise, but Mr. Biffo takes it to the next level. Not only does LoopyLisa21f talk about sex, she talks about all manner of things including farting, cats, flooding apartments, disciplining children, forehead models, car engines, snogging in cages and more!

If this sounds too good to be true, it isn’t! Confessions of a Chatroom Freak is utter glorious madness and I for one couldn’t be happier! It shows you what really goes on in Internet chatrooms if you haven’t been brave enough to do it yourself and reveals an underside of men that is usually hidden.

It’ll also make you laugh until your sides hurt and tears are running down your face. I have never laughed so hard, ever, while reading a book. I can’t describe how incredibly laugh out loud funny this book is, I don’t even have the words.

To give you an idea, here’s a brief exchange between LoopyLisa21f and one of her would be suitors:

Swanvester1975: are you really Loopy?

LoopyLisa21f: I don’t know about that, but I’m certainly quite itchy! My cat has fleas, you see.

Swanvester1975: ok not fun

LoopyLisa21f: I’ve scratched a hole in my t-shirt already, and I’m practically through to the bone on my ankles. That ins’t even a lie!

LoopyLosea21f: What’s good for lea-bites-other than rubbing your shines against a flea-ridden cat, that is? Ha. Ha. Ha.

Swanvester1975: vinegar

LoopyLisa21f: Urrrgh! I’m not drinking that!

LoopyLisa21f: I could mix it with some orange squash, I suppose.

Swanvester1975: are you mad!?

LoopyLisa21f: You’re the one who told me to drink vinegar. It isn’t my idea.

LoopyLisa21f: It might taste better if it has ice cubes in. Hang on.

LoopyLisa21f: I’m going to find out. One moment please.

LoopyLisa21f: …..

Swanvester1975: hello??

LoopyLisa21f: OK! Back now.

LoopyLisa21f: I have to say – That is the most DISGUSTING drink I’ve ever had.

LoopyLisa21f: I took two big mouthfuls, but most of it came out again – through my nose and bottom.

Swanvester1975: jesus

LoopyLisa21f: That is the most revolting thing I have EVER tastd. Worse even than the time Craig made me eat a bit of mud he’d picked.

LoopyLisa21f: I can really taste the vinegar through the squash and the ice. I thought it would be disguised more than that, but it isn’t at all.

Swanvester1975: u off ur trolly. Took your mind off the bites though

LoopyLisa21f: Yes but now I’m thinking about doing some vomiting.

LoopyLisa21f: Do you want some advice?

Swanvester1975: yes

LoopyLisa21f: Don’t ever dilute orange squash with vinegar and try to drink it. It’s horrible. You see – it will make you want to vomit.

Confessions of a Chatroom Freak is pure, unadulterated lunacy and bedlam and I loved every word. Mr. Biffo has written an excellent case study of the Internet, men and sex and has rolled it all into one hilarious book.

If you need a cure for the Winter Blues, there’s no better cure than Confessions of a Chatroom Freak. It’ll make you laugh, giggle and snort. But be warned: If laughing like a lunatic in public places is your thing, than read Confessions of a Chatroom Freak.

People will wonder why you’re laughing so hard, they’ll need to get their own copy! This is seriously great fun and an absolutely amazing book! Get your copy and start laughing today!

 

 

 

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